Here are the more common responses I get when I tell people I run barefoot.
Response: “That’s stupid.”
Answer: “Well after all the hours I have spent researching the subject and studying the mechanics of the foot and ankle, combined with the numerous miles I have run without shoes and feel great, I find no way to penetrate your stellar argument.”
Response: “What happens when you run in dog poop?”
Answer: “Do you normally run in dog poop?”
Response: “What happens when you run on glass?”
Answer: “Do you run on glass? If you do, let me know, because I don’t want to run there.”
“No, I mean what happens when you step on a piece of glass?”
“Oh, the same thing that would happen to you. My foot would explode into a giant fireball. Six weeks later a shiny new foot would grow back only with pretty green lizard-like scales.”
Response: “You’re going to burn to feet on the hot asphalt.”
Answer: “Actually, when I run, right before my foot touches the ground, I lift it back up.”
Response: “Hey, where’s your shoes?”
Answer: “I’m chasing the guy who stole them. If you see a guy between 5’9” and 6’1” with an average runner’s build, running in dirty white shoes tackle him and take his shoes.”
Response: “I could never do that because I’m flat footed.”
Answer: “No you’re not, because I’m flat footed and I haven’t seen you at the meetings.”
Response: “I can’t do that because I have really high arches.”
Answer: “Good, that means you have great built-in leaf-springs and should be able to run faster than me. Now go make me a sandwich.”
Response: “Are you crazy?”
Answer: “Yes, and that makes me fun at parties but all of this is completely unrelated to this subject.”
Monday, August 10, 2009
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